You'll find my comments in the side notes below so let's get started...

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Can You Get A New $8,000 Power Table For $417?

------Side Note Comments------
First off, the headline is a grabber and makes people want to read more. Anyone interested in your product at a bargain price would certainly continue reading.
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Read The Amazing Facts To Find Out How...

------Side Note Comments------
Next, the subhead tells prospects that the answer is right inside this letter if they keep reading.
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Dear Friend,

Yes, it's absolutely true. You can really replace your old, worn-out exam table and only pay $417 out of your pocket (But only if you are one of the first 2 people to respond to this letter.)

Let me explain.

------Side Note Comments------
Your first sentence is absolutely critical to your letter. If your first sentence doesn't make people want to keep reading, you can expect your letter to end up in the circular file. So make sure it keeps their interest piqued and follow up on the headline promise in the first sentence.

In the first sentence I reiterate the fact that yes they really can get a brand new power table for such a low price. The second sentence I throw in a little scarcity right at the beginning of the letter so they won't just toss this letter aside for further reading.
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Last April, our little company took a big gamble and signed up for a power table promotion. In order to get on the promotion we had to agree to take 3 power tables - nearly $15,000. (And for a small company like us, that's a lot of money to be tied up in inventory).

Only one of those 3 tables were sold - so there are still 2 left.

------Side Note Comments------
The next paragraph I begin to explain the story of why we're selling this product at such a bargain price. I've discovered that telling people the truth and giving a reason why is actually one of the most powerful psychological motivators to action.
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And My Problem Is Your Opportunity

------Side Note Comments------
This subhead turns the letter back around to what's in it for the reader. Everyone is always silently asking themselves "So what?" and "Who cares?". You've got to keep the focus on what the reader will gain from the letter.
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In order to move these last 2 tables I've decided to do something somewhat bold and a little daring.

First, you should know that the manufacturer's promotion of these power tables ends June 30th. And any unsold inventory I have could be sold to another dealer at wholesale.

But instead of doing that, I would rather sell you the table at a wholesale price and gain your goodwill.

------Side Note Comments------
Here I explain how and why I'm willing to make a sensational deal.
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The regular price for a XXX power table is $8,000 but during this promotion they were on sale for $5,375 (which is a pretty good deal anyway).

But until July 15th (I've extended the offer 2 weeks), you can buy one of our last 2 tables for just $4,897. That's a savings of over $3,100.00

------Side Note Comments------
I introduce the special offer and the reason why we're selling the product at such a discount. That's a key point, because unless you give people a believable reason for the reduced price they won't believe you. Nobody thinks you're lowering the price because you're "such a nice guy" so let them in on the reason behind your offer.
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What? I promised you could get a power table for only $417 and here's how...

------Side Note Comments------
I answer an anticipated objection here since I promised they could get the table for only $417.
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Here's How To Get That New Power Table For Almost "Zip" By buying a power table, you can qualify for a 50% tax credit under section 44 of the Americans with Disabilities Act. That's right Fifty Percent! All because a power table will glide up and down to accommodate disabled and handicapped patients.

And here's what else. You can also take the amount of the power table and deduct it off your taxes using Section 179. (That is if you haven't spent over $18,000 on capital equipment this year.)

That's not all, here are a few more incentives for you: We will give you a $150 trade-in for your old table (or you can donate it to charity for another tax break). And add an extra 2-year warranty ($1,000 value), plus, we'll pick-up your old table and deliver the new one all for free!

Pretty good, right? Wait, I have even better news for you...

------Side Note Comments------
Here I've explained each of the incentives and how they can really get the table for such a low cost. Plus added in a few extra bonuses and now I'll another bonus to really increase their desire.
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You Can Pay In 3 Easy Installments With Zero Interest We'll break up your payments into 3 easy installments, spread thirty days apart.

Why You Must Act Before July 15th First, I doubt if these tables will still be around until July 15th because the first 2 doctors that put their deposits down will take them. And when they're gone this offer expires.

But even if they are still here (highly unlikely at this bargain price) this offer has to expire anyway because we will be shipping out these tables to other dealers in the area.

------Side Note Comments------
I bring back the deadline here and scarcity again. So not only do they have a limit on the number of units available, but there is also a time deadline. This is a double whammy to get people to take action immediately.
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Here's What You Should Do Now

Pick up your phone and dial xxx-xxxx and reserve one of these last 2 tables with your credit card. Or in case, you're still undecided call us and ask for some more information to be faxed to you.

Otherwise, you'll be giving up the ease and convenience of having a power table at this bargain price. I really hope you're one of the 2 lucky doctors who decide to take advantage of this golden opportunity.

------Side Note Comments------
In this closing paragraph I give readers a little pain by mentioning what they'll be missing if they don't act on this offer.
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Sincerely,
XXXX

P.S. Hurry! This letter is being sent to 1,283 local doctors and this offer is strictly limited to the first 2 people who respond.

------Side Note Comments------
The P.S. is your last place to help prospects make a buying decision. People go from the headline in a letter to the signature to the P.S., so your P.S. should be powerful.

Here I introduce even more scarcity. I let them know exactly how many people (specifics sell) are receiving this letter and it makes the limited quantity seem even more limited since so many other people are getting this same announcement.
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I guarantee by using the same elements, I just illustrated, you'll see your next sales letter produce incredible results.

© 2000 Surefire Marketing, Inc.